So, I went state side, and was stationed in San Antonio. Nice place, I was there for almost three years.
My new job was not what I thought it would be. I was pushing papers a lot. Although I sat in front of a computer, I was not "working" on computers any more. I was not tech support, or a network engineer, or anything else like it. I was writing contracts for support, I was reading phone bills, I was BORED!!!
I decided to get a second job to keep me busy. I found work as a security guard at night. It was BORING! I walked around in the dark by myself making sure the hookers weren't hiding behind the dumpster with their John.
I decided to get another job. I was still in the Air Force, I was still working as a guard, and now I was delivering news papers to 500 houses every morning. From 5 AM to 7 AM (later on Sundays) seven days a week, I delivered news papers. I listened to the radio, and threw news papers out the car window. Not boring, but not very stimulating.
My life was not what it had been.
I wasn't learning anything new! I wasn't being challenged! The most important thing to remember about someone with ADHD? The need to be challenged in order to keep their attention. For example, I want to keep writing this blog, but, I'm kinda bored! I keep thinking about how it may help someone that reads it, and see's them self. Or better yet, someone reads it and says "This sounds like my husband/wife." Then they decide to investigate, they try to understand, they try to help them cope.
I wasn't happy, I never saw my wife, and I just wanted to leave and start a new job. She was happy working part time at McDonalds. I wasn't happy. So, I got a divorce and volunteered to go back overseas.
Finally, something fun, I'm going to Korea, and I'll be Single!!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Sunday, December 14, 2008
What's wrong with me?
All through school I knew I was different. How did I know, because my parents told me I was! And my teachers told me I was. The kids at school picked on me. Not just the bullies either.
I started school in 1975, I remember it well. I liked going, mostly. Until I got to second grade. I was so bored, I didn't want to go any more. My mom kept my report card form second grade, I love the comments:
"Has a general lack of interest in school, not motivated to learn."
What the hell is that!! I was in second grade, maybe it was your job to motivate me. By the time I was in fifth grade, I can say I hated it. All of it! The teachers, the kids, the learning (or in my case, lack of learning). No one under stood what I was going through. It took me 3 years to pass 7th grade English! I think they felt sorry for me and pushed me through the last year.
In 9th grade, I took 8th and 9th grade English together. What? How can I do that? Am I going to get smart all of a sudden? I guess so, I passed them both! My teacher helped though. He was the only one that I could understand. The other English teachers weren't speaking English!
Well, I got through school, and got a job making cables in a factory. That's the best I could do, right? I graduated, but I couldn't go to college, how could I, who wants someone that graduates with a 66 average their senior year.
Well, the U.S. Air Force, that's who. And they said I could go into the computer field too! Why? Because I scored a 98 on mechanical, and a 89 on mathematics. What, how, why, what's wrong with me then? I don't understand, my brother failed the test to get in the Army. Lot's of people got a lot lower scores then I did. How is that possible?
I went to basic training, and then off to technical school. The instructors were impressed with my logic and ability to learn new things. I love this job! I forgot to tell you, I had my first computer in 1980, when I was 10. That is the only way my teachers could read my writing!
So, I graduated from school, and went to Italy for my first assignment. This huge data center with mainframes and mini-main frames, servers and PC's (real IBM PC's). I started learning, and learning, and learning. I was married, got married at 18, but for some reason, learning about this job was taking over my life. I would work for 14 - 18 hours a day, my shift was 12 hours a day, but I would stay and read and learn. By the way, my job was classified, so I couldn't take it home.
After 6 months, I was the person that got called when something went wrong. The person that mentored me into the job had already left, and no one else was competent enough to lead. I was a high school graduate with 6 months experience, and the rank of E-2 (E-1 is the lowest). I was teaching Staff Sergeants and Technical Sergeants how to do their jobs.
The funny thing is, since I joined the Air Force, no one called me stupid. They trained me, and the taught me. They trained me on computers, and taught me not to give up.
After I learned this job, and stopped being challenged, the old feelings from school started to invade my life again. I was bored, at home, at work, every were, and all the time. My job was going to change, I was moving state side. That's good, I need a change, I've learn all I can from this job.
I still don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm happy, healthy, and learning more then school ever taught me!
I will continue on this journey, and I hope you will follow along. It's a long road, but I will fill in the gaps as I come across them, and you will be rewarded with knowledge when we reach the light at the end of the tunnel.
Dan
I started school in 1975, I remember it well. I liked going, mostly. Until I got to second grade. I was so bored, I didn't want to go any more. My mom kept my report card form second grade, I love the comments:
"Has a general lack of interest in school, not motivated to learn."
What the hell is that!! I was in second grade, maybe it was your job to motivate me. By the time I was in fifth grade, I can say I hated it. All of it! The teachers, the kids, the learning (or in my case, lack of learning). No one under stood what I was going through. It took me 3 years to pass 7th grade English! I think they felt sorry for me and pushed me through the last year.
In 9th grade, I took 8th and 9th grade English together. What? How can I do that? Am I going to get smart all of a sudden? I guess so, I passed them both! My teacher helped though. He was the only one that I could understand. The other English teachers weren't speaking English!
Well, I got through school, and got a job making cables in a factory. That's the best I could do, right? I graduated, but I couldn't go to college, how could I, who wants someone that graduates with a 66 average their senior year.
Well, the U.S. Air Force, that's who. And they said I could go into the computer field too! Why? Because I scored a 98 on mechanical, and a 89 on mathematics. What, how, why, what's wrong with me then? I don't understand, my brother failed the test to get in the Army. Lot's of people got a lot lower scores then I did. How is that possible?
I went to basic training, and then off to technical school. The instructors were impressed with my logic and ability to learn new things. I love this job! I forgot to tell you, I had my first computer in 1980, when I was 10. That is the only way my teachers could read my writing!
So, I graduated from school, and went to Italy for my first assignment. This huge data center with mainframes and mini-main frames, servers and PC's (real IBM PC's). I started learning, and learning, and learning. I was married, got married at 18, but for some reason, learning about this job was taking over my life. I would work for 14 - 18 hours a day, my shift was 12 hours a day, but I would stay and read and learn. By the way, my job was classified, so I couldn't take it home.
After 6 months, I was the person that got called when something went wrong. The person that mentored me into the job had already left, and no one else was competent enough to lead. I was a high school graduate with 6 months experience, and the rank of E-2 (E-1 is the lowest). I was teaching Staff Sergeants and Technical Sergeants how to do their jobs.
The funny thing is, since I joined the Air Force, no one called me stupid. They trained me, and the taught me. They trained me on computers, and taught me not to give up.
After I learned this job, and stopped being challenged, the old feelings from school started to invade my life again. I was bored, at home, at work, every were, and all the time. My job was going to change, I was moving state side. That's good, I need a change, I've learn all I can from this job.
I still don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm happy, healthy, and learning more then school ever taught me!
I will continue on this journey, and I hope you will follow along. It's a long road, but I will fill in the gaps as I come across them, and you will be rewarded with knowledge when we reach the light at the end of the tunnel.
Dan
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
